This is tough...probably because I fall in love too easily.
Especially with words, but sometimes with people.
I guess that's what happens when you purposely look for the best in humans and reread old favorites until the pages are worn.
Tonight, I am striving for honesty.
Here goes…
Mastering a respectable football throw is not something I can list in my repertoire.
Neither is playing an instrument. Although, this admission pains me more than my lack of athletic coordination.
Honestly, I wish I had more skills. I mean, come on, even Napoleon Dynamite had the self-awareness to realize that “girls dig guys with skills.”
Let’s be real here.
I am not an athlete, a musician, or an artist. Any culinary accomplishments I’ve experienced have been “borrowed” from a relative or a friend’s recipe book.
Still, I love all of these things…athleticism, music, art, and FOOD!
I'm sure some people think I am naive. I prefer to believe my outlook on life is a self-fulfilling prophecy...if you look for goodness, you will surely find it.
Everywhere.
Does that mean I get taken advantage of?
No. If I’ve ever felt that way, it’s because I allowed myself to.
Do I have a hard time saying “no” to people?
Yes.
That’s not necessarily a “bad” thing.
I always have a choice.
I am human. I make mistakes. I have made bad decisions in life.
Once, I almost lost my best friend...because I acted carelessly.
I was devastated without her support as a sounding board.
I needed her, and she wasn't there.
But, guess what? I didn't deserve her at that particular time.
I learned a valuable lesson..."Don't be reckless with other people's hearts." Thanks, Ms. Schmich.
Cynthia Rylant, a favorite children’s author, might say it best in her treasure, Missing May, when she describes the altruistic soul of a key character.
“She understood people, and she let them be whatever way they needed to be.”
Why can’t more of us take a step back, let go of our egos, our pride, our fears, our facades, our expectations, and just take a risk??
What’s the worst that can happen?
You’ll end up alone?
It’s really not that bad.
I’m not kidding.
Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.
Or, self-indulgent.
It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
If it sounds like I am trying to convince myself...it's because I am.
I admit it.
Tonight my mind hovers on one truth: Be who you are.
Own it.
Yet, do it with kindness in your heart.
Have compassion for others.
Be honest and sincere.
These are my goals for the upcoming year.
An experiment in life.
So, back to the topic of tonight’s post…what are your ten favorite words?
The list doesn’t have to be static.
Nothing about life is.
So, one more time....mostly to remind myself...sorry for being redundant here,
What’s that worst thing that can happen?
People will make fun of you?
So be it.
It’s okay to laugh at yourself.
I am doing it a lot these days.
A year ago, I wouldn’t have considered posting much of anything, beyond lesson plans, publicly.
It’s a risk.
Again, that’s the goal here.
You can be open without being distasteful.
You don’t have to jeopardize your reputation or job.
For tonight,
My favorite words are:
**Disclaimer: I tried NOT to think too fervently about this…but maybe I did overthink it.
1. Copasetic (I didn’t know what this word meant until 2005, and someone used it on me in the workplace. It made me feel better to know everything was groovy.)
2. Altruism (Doing something selflessly for someone else…is that even possible? When you give of yourself, you give to yourself. I think it must be impossible not to. You just feel better.)
3. Slake (Satisfy your thirst already, go get a Gatorade 2!)
4. Nostalgia (This can be like a dangerous black-hole in time, if you don’t take it in careful doses. Be cautious of sentimentality… wearing rose colored glasses while looking backward can be like a second round of punches in the boxing ring. When someone shows you who they are...believe them the first time. I don't buy into many of Oprah's tidbits...but this is one that I do believe in.)
5. Nestled (Like being tucked under the covers at night and read a favorite bedtime story)
6. Beaming (A sign of sheer happiness or pride)
7. Crotchety (Undesirable personality trait, and let's face it...the word is just plain funny to say out loud!)
8. Enigma (A 6th grade vocabulary word... while I don’t promote learning words in isolation, this one sticks out to me…who doesn’t like a mystery?)
9. Glisten (This is what ladies do when they are overheated.)
10. Snarky (A made-up word, “neologism,” by my graduate assistantship advisor. I admired her independence, sassiness, and polish.)
My last thought for the night is a quote, of which I am unable to give the deserved credit to the author, because I can’t locate the original pen…even on Google…
“Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.”
For me, it means I promise not to drink coffee in front of my students after the Pledge of Allegiance this year. Since the kids cannot have a “special” drink during regular school hours…I know I should not be guzzling my fuel in front of them.
Good thing I have an automatic timer on my home coffee maker. I am thankful for this head start.
I will miss you, summertime.
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